Rejection: A Survival Guide

An Incomplete Manual for Writers

Dear Reader,

If you only knew me through social media, you’d say that I’m having a successful month. I had two stories featured on literary websites, which is a big deal for an emerging writer like myself.

You already know that social media is just a highlight reel. Still, it could be tempting to see these two wins in isolation. What you don’t see are the twenty-seven rejections I received (yes, I counted) to get these two stories published.

That’s why I’m sharing this guide. What we do as writers is intensely vulnerable. We’re putting pieces of ourselves out into the world, after all. That makes success so sweet, but it can also make rejection agonizing.

So, I hope you read this guide and know you’re not alone. I wrote this for myself on a day when I felt sad and insecure. I hope that it can help you if you have one of those days yourself.

— Sara

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Condolences.

That feels like a good place to start. You’d only select this guidebook if you were lost in the darkness of your complete and utter failure. In short: you’ve been rejected.

The good news is that this manual exists because you are not the first person to suffer in this state. The even better news is that it’s not nearly as bad as you think. In fact, this easy step-by-step guide will help you see that all hope is not lost.

Ready to crawl out of despair and into the light? Let’s begin:

Step 1: Wallow in the Enormity of Your Incompetence

Rejection is a sign that something isn’t right. Clearly, that something is you. Your writing. Your ideas. And of course, your general decision to share either with anyone. It’s a tough reality to face.

How you face that realization is up to you! Perhaps your version of wallowing is crying in the shower. Or, maybe you will stare blankly at a wall for hours. Many writers choose to doom scroll and compare themselves to more talented authors. There’s no wrong way to wallow. Find what works for you.

Note: It is likely that you have completed this program before. If so, make it a goal to spend less time in this step than previously. Writers who are most practiced in rejection only need a few minutes at this step. Make constant improvement your goal.

Step 2: Connect to Your Community

The weight of rejection should not be carried alone. Find people to share the burden. This guide recommends two types of supporters: writers and non-writers.

Non-writers are there to get irrationally and gloriously angry on your behalf. They are deprived of all context, so their fury is centered simply on your hurt. There is a catharsis in this that will leave you feeling vindicated. It’s not all that helpful in the long run, but it sure feels nice in the moment.

People in your writing community will be acutely aware of rejection’s pain. Let the stories of their failures wash over you. If you’re going to be a talentless fraud, at least you are amongst your people.

It’s important to note that reaching out to other writers will invariably lead you to Step 3. The more you appreciate the frequency of rejection, the more you will accept that the issue is rarely just the writer.

Step 3: Begrudgingly Consider a New Perspective

If rejection is a sign that something isn’t right, is it possible that the something in need of fixing isn’t you? It’s a tempting thought. Let’s poke at it more.

Where did you send your writing? Was it a prestigious outlet with a less than 1% acceptance rate? Or did you send a first-person essay on motherhood to a magazine that mostly publishes dark fantasy? Sometimes the “something” that is wrong has less to do with your work and more to do the fit with the outlet you sent it to.

Also, remember that editors are people. People with subjective opinions, limited resources and publishing constraints that you may not know. Gatekeepers are not gods. Their opinions are just that: opinions.

All these reasons are just as likely as you being a worthless hack. Why not choose to believe them instead? Once you can consider that there is the slightest of possibilities that you are not the sole reason for your rejection, you’re ready to move to the next step.

Step 4: Go Through the Motions

Writing again after rejection can be difficult. That’s why this guide suggests that after one you first do all the extraneous activities around writing. Organize your draft folders. Make to-do lists. Clean up your work space. Answer emails. You know, the things that you never attend to when you’re in the midst of a writing frenzy.

Next, poke around sites like Chill Subs to find a better fit for your rejected story. Pay attention to genre and acceptance rate. Once you find a publication that might work, read a few of their published stories if possible. Do these feel aligned to your work’s content and style? If not, this may not be the right outlet for you. Keep looking. You’ll find one.

Once you have a newly organized space and an idea of where to send your work, it’s time to take on the dreaded task of opening your rejected story. This brings you to the next step.

Step 5: Believe Again

Read your work.

No, really read it. Are there tense inconsistencies? Extraneous dialogue tags? Do you jump in too quickly? Does it start too slow? If you find that you are defending your work as you read, resist. Even the best work can be improved and tidied. Do that now.

You could find that making tweaks leaves you invigorated. It might show you that the core of your idea was brilliant, it just needed refinement. You may even go so far as to fall in love with your story again. Good. That’s exactly the point. Polishing your work is a sign that you are not a fraud but a craftsperson who only needed more time with their piece. Hold on to that identity and move to the final step.

Of course, reading your story may make you consider revisiting the first step of this process. Do not do that. Instead, put your story away for longer. There’s likely good stuff there; you just can’t see it yet.

Now, the task is to get inspired again. Dig through old drafts until something grabs you. Use a writing prompt (this guide suggests those from

mary g.

). Walk in the woods until a new idea comes. Try any and everything to get to the next project.

You may stay in this step for a long time. That’s okay. There is no rush on inspiration so long as you know that there will be another story. Once you find it? Write it. Write it fast and sloppy. Then edit it once, twice and three times more. Send it to your writing community and ask for notes. Get it to a place where you feel proud. When you finally have that feeling, it’s time to move to the final step.

Step 6: Accept the Inevitable

Share your story again. Whether submitting to another publication or posting to Substack, the final step in surviving rejection is always to share your story.

Just know that this will happen again. Whether with this story or the next, you will write something you believe in and another publication will reject it. But now you know that you will be okay. You have been through rejection and come out the other side with renewed faith. You can do that again. You must.

The world needs your voice.

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